Mark Kaigwa

Archive for January, 2008|Monthly archive page

U,WE, ME & U

In Poetree on January 26, 2008 at 9:38 pm

Yesterday I was 1/2 the man
you meet,
that’s because u the other half of WE
turn the W upside down and
what you got is ME
U turned my World upside down,
U did it for free,
Starin@U so long,
I didn’t regret
U paid it off with a smile to
Change my same-day fret.

Thanks.

-Yet again, another undated piece, but another excerpt from a Slam piece that I REALLY enjoyed because of its response from the crowd…

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Untitled, but working title was ‘First Move’

In Poetree on January 26, 2008 at 9:35 pm

Like the New Moon’s appearance to
a fasting man.
Brought about the growth of my
Wings
Fly I felt.
Soar I thought
Courage I must
Must
Must not
Stutter
Must(er) first words spoken as
Though your lips were unsealed
and inhibited as they released
the
sweet
and
soulful
aroma
that was not only a response to a
Hello,
but the end to my beginning
to hear &
my beginning to listen.

Undated- But this brings back memories, and makes me sigh every time I perform it. A very personal piece…

Untitled Poem….

In Poetree on January 26, 2008 at 9:23 pm

It can only happen as long as you let it.
It is only as real as you make it
Your fears are simply fears as long as you don’t face them
Your truths are highly in faith as long as you don’t test the faith
You sow
You reap
It’s that simple
And you know this…

You don’t ignore it, because you choose to do it anyway
The blind eye, ignorance
What’s the differnce?
Challenge spelling something with no reference to my culture
hit backspace ever so often
to rewrite the wrong
Hit rewind on life
I’d sometimes wish it was a song
Put on repeat,
and forward the boring bits,
download it on my iPod
and carry it around.

Anger when my poems don’t rhyme
Fear when I’m not on time
Procrastination, my new best Pet
‘D’ my new best friend
and you my only
my only
my only

enemy.

– a really interesting state of mind I was in, on this day, November 25th 2007, 7:24 PM

A letter to My future self…

In History's Future, Real Talk on January 26, 2008 at 9:13 pm

There is what I have learned to be as ‘safe’. A secure job, a decent house, a decent wife, a pretty ordinary life.
Yet this doesn’t appeal to me. Not in the least, the mere mediocrity of this life chasing after the wind only to leave all that you gain for the next man to enjoy. Someone said this is what’s know as a mid life crisis. You realise you worked, you struggled, you did what you weren’t necessarily passionate about to gain something only to wonder “Why?”

But Im not even out of my teens and I refuse to let myself spend two years finishing the secure ‘first degree’. I would rather do something I really want to do. But recently I posed the question, Whether my friends are merely doing something that which has good financial ramifications as opposed to their passion what they dreamed doing. But now the realisation that dawned on me was that even if you DO follow what you want to do, then that’s just it; your doing what YOU want to.

Now I acknowledge I am beautifully and wonderfully created by a greater Supreme Being The Lord God, and He must have some sort of purpose to why I’m here. Should I spend my life exploring that?I don’t know, I guess they call it a mid-life crisis with good reason. But I stand at the crossroads from which I will look back in years to come, read this and understand what it was I was writing about. The only reason I write like this is because I know it exists in me, not in my DNA, but in my Spirit, in my Soul. I might confine the visions of my soul to words, but that’s all I know. I once defined myself as a lazy visionary simply because of the vivid images of a future I possibly couldn’t achieve because of my worldly laziness…

Bt my purpose has got to be greater than to merely achieve accolades that my peers applaud and envy (no disrespect guys, but there’s more) and this is the journey I have embarked on. I am about to study music, for I feel the passion to create and express myself (more than any other passion).But for me, it’s futile if it only exists for the mere recognition of man and his constant approval; for nothing could be more fickle than to entrust your gladness and esteem on the see-saw that is human emotion.

If asked my dream it would be something close to the way to help those around me in the most profound way I can. By saying this what I must accept from the off is that the most ‘profound’ way is not profound by the standards I am used to. It isn’t in the recognition and the hurrahs and cheers in a spotlight but under the shadow of humility. It is in the smallest most ‘unnoticeable’ things that only a Soul could speak of. Therein lies the dream of my soul. By living in a way that speaks more than this mind could put into words, by being the salt, and not the honey of the world. To ‘be’ not for me, but for you. To live not so as to prove something to my peers, but to enable those around me to live as closely to their creator as possible.

The words I write here are… merely words, if I don’t have the guts to live the way I speak then it I meaningless. For it is in first embarking on the journey to greatness that we get the words to express how it is we achieved greatness. I must first conquer the ever present human inclination to stagnate, exist, let sleeping dogs lie, ‘not burst the bubble’, live within this comfort zone that will eventually strangle us of all creative and expressive air. I know what I really mean to tell you. It is an emotion I am trying to express with words rather than actions. I will never suceed in that respect, but what I wish from you is patience. Be patient with me because by God, I wish to dedicate myself to Him and in the smallest way impact your life to have an idea of how much He loves you, and how much more I must try to do so, because I know this…

God Bless You…

Amen.

Jealousy, Envy and other reasons to blog

In Politricks, Real Talk on January 17, 2008 at 11:10 pm

Well, reading several blogs the other day, I couldn’t help but feel a little green… We all got blogs the same time, I remember one morning in the computer lab at Uni, guys logging on to blogger, wordpress, and we all started blogging. As you’d expect the first blogs we’re slightly incoherent, and we still existed in that state of ‘What am I going to write about?’- At this point, I’m sure all the bloggers I started out with have gone on a “ Speak for yourself” state-of-mind but who cares?

I mean, all credit to those who blogged for a while and were consistent… God knows we all need a bit of consistency in our lives. But in retrospect, some of them have gone on to become some of the most read Kenyan bloggers around( Big up guys, at least I get some credit for knowing you) And in my mind, I want to believe that “ Of course, if things had been different then I would be one of the most read bloggers, but as you can see from the previous two paragraphs, I’m not doing myself any favours.

At a recent Kwani? Open mic, Maik (i saw that that’s how he spells his name) Kwambo talked about the effect of having a blog and what it’s done for him as a writer and poet… Needless to say that his peroration didn’t spark the blogger in me back to life. But funnily enough in a random occurrence of both serendipity and pure randomness I met someone on Facebook-And I mean met them on Facebook, I don’t know them- who turned out to be a faithful blogger, who in turn led me to the guy who inspired me and my group of cronies to actually set up our blogs and that’s how I found out that one of the guys I started out with, is now a heavyweight, in the blogging community.

Well, it turns out that after all that, what really set up my affinity to start blogging on my cobweb-filled pages was nothing more than envy. Well, obviously that word doesn’t encapsulate what I really felt, the words jealousy and envy are so…’ evil’. It was more like a good form of envy, a competitive spirit, yet it mad me green. Whatever it was, it’s got me using my laptop for good (and not for evil, whatever that means )

In yet another random occurence, Raila just called his fellow countrymen Kenyans. Your probably wondering to yourself “What’s wrong with that?” but he didn’t say it like you just did, he said Kinyans with Ke as in Key rather than Ke as in Kennedy. Now aside from the linguistics class I just took you through, no Kenyan, in the short history that i’ve learnt has refered to the rest of the country Kinyans.

I want a good president, I honestly don’t care if it’s Kibaki or Raila, or Pastor Pius( I’d rather him, at least he’s been quieter, and has no choice but dialogue coz of his church). I’ll cheer whoever it is every second because as much as we see tribe as the first thing, I tend to believe that I see individuals. And that’s my word, and my first blog.